Should You Really Do What Makes You Happy?

Hi guys welcome back, yes yes yes. It’s your favourite blogger again haha! And lest I forget a happy new month to you . My blog headed to 2 months in a bit,  I’m just going to go ahead again give myself a little pat on the back. Just a little.

..and the award of the quote of the century goes to.. you already know! . The one on every picture , the one you want to hear when going through a difficult time, Everyone keeps telling you ‘do what makes you happy’ but realistically should you?

Okay relax, I know you’re thinking ‘what is she talking about this time?’ I’m going to tell you definitely. If we were always allowed to do what makes us happy , don’t you think people like Ted Bundy would still be allowed to walk the streets freely . Sometimes what makes you happy is not healthy.

We need to realise that so when patting a fella on the back and telling him ‘go do what makes you happy’ , remember what makes him happy could be negative, what makes him happy could endanger someone. Before you’re all about reading the quote and nodding your head in affirmation, think about what makes the world a better place , whatever we do has an effect positively or negatively, now are you going to go ahead and harness your kleptomania because it makes you happy? Definitely not. You should be all about what’s positive, what’s healthy , what’s worthwhile. Dont do that which puts you and those around you at risk.

Its perfectly fine if what makes you happy are positive things, things worth doing, that’s a whole different story with a beautiful ending. But if your source of happiness becomes that which is detrimental then you’ll need to find a new source . Whatever you do, think of others, think of those who matter to you, selflessness is the key. And in that do you find true happiness.

Sometimes our source of happiness could be someone not a thing, I remember coming across a picture weeks ago with the quote ‘sometimes home could be someone else’ and it resonated with me, I have such people in my lives whom I feel at home with, there’s no need to be what you’re not. These are all factual sources of happiness , and healthy ones of course. So, Find your source and harness it.

With Love.

Wilfred Peculiar

Assumptions

He said he’d be home soon, two hours up waiting and he still wasn’t here , could it be a traffic jam? Why was i surprised, this had been his routine months before I found out he had a lover , he’d apologized and supposedly had cut things off, I didn’t want to believe it, could he had fallen back on his word, the meal I had prepared would be below tepid now, the food was the least thing on my mind at the moment, fifteen minutes past eleven, he was supposed to be home by 9.

As I sat on the couch, my right foot tapping repeatedly on the floor, I was having crazy thoughts, already piecing up the questions, the accusations and the spiteful things I was going to say to him, I mean, not to talk about him forgetting today was our anniversary, he had rushed out of the house in the morning with talks about being late for a managerial meeting , without a good morning kiss, without any sign of his recollection of how important that day was to our marriage , I had not dressed up for nothing, no way, this whole surprise was not just going to be a waste, he couldn’t on a day such as this be late . His lover? Could she be the reason for this? I picked up my phone and called his number for the close to 20th time , still no response.


My anger was raging, thirty past eleven, no response, what direction was this marriage heading towards? Why would he go back to his lover, today of all days, life was testing my patience for I am not a patient woman , he would definitely feel my wrath today. I had given my all to this marriage, what didn’t I do right?
My eerily loud ringtone brought me out of my thoughts, it was my husband , finally, he had got a lot of explaining to do and I wasn’t going to give him the chance to lie to me
‘Where the hell have you been?, you’ve gone back to her right? Is that why you’ve been ignoring my calls’ I begun to rant
‘Hello?’
‘Dont hello me, just answer my question, I am not in the mood for another of your lies, it wouldn’t be the first time you would cheat on me , you piece of trash, where were you!?
‘Hello ma?’
‘who is this? , where is my husband?’
The now strange voice begun telling me things I found too hard to comprehend ‘……..so as to identify his body’
‘Body? , what are you talking about? Where is my husband?’ I was becoming frantic
‘Ma, I said he is in our hospital, he was brought in earlier with the other victims, he had been involved in a multiple car crash’
I felt a tingle in my ear
‘this phone was handed to us by one of the men who’d brought them in, so we would need you to come to the hospital now so as to identify his body because unfortunately none of the victims survived’.


What just hit me?, identify a body? My husband in the hospital
‘Hello? , hello ma?’
It couldn’t be, my husband couldn’t be dead, I had been here antagonizing him for forgetting our anniversary, I had been thinking of ways to spite him, but now I hear my husband had been laid at the feet of death, the screeching scream I doubt came from within me couldn’t qualify the way I felt, he had left without me making it up to him, apologising for my attitude of recent, the disdain I had carried towards him these past months , so much to say, so much to apologize for but so little time, my eyes let out hot inconsolable tears, in one day I had lost all that mattered to me , I had been focused on the less important things, I was too busy thinking about him being with another woman, but now he wasnt even mine anymore . I had lost him…

Wilfred Peculiar

The Need To Unlearn

Hi guys , I know I have not posted in a while as I’ve been occupied but here is something to kick start your day. Dont forget to click the follow button, like and share with your friends .

As children we pick up habits, we learn new things, we emulate characters, we do what we’re told without thinking twice. As we age, we’re taught manners, how to be presentable, how to act in certain situations. These are traits we grow up with which determines our personality, our outlook towards life and people in general. But not everything we learn is healthy, not every habit we pick up is advisable then comes the need to unlearn. As we would want to be our own person with our own principles and rules , we would have to let some things go and learn new things .

It is said that as we age towards maturity it actually becomes harder to unlearn things, it becomes harder to try do things in a new way because we tend to take in things quicker as children, we could take in wrong things as we could also take in the right things and these tend to stick with us . We’re taught to do things a certain way but when we begin to socialise and we realize ‘oh ! This is not supposed to be done this way ‘ . We try to make a conscious effort to unlearn.

I’ve been in this situation quite a lot, there are things I grew up with the knowledge of being right and ok ,but when I do such or say such in the midst of others, I get to understand it’s either not right or it’s not meant to be done that way . Same with the thoughts of our mind, in my opinion the mind is the greatest weapon a human possesses, its quick to assimilate whatever comes across its reach but the hard part is being able to filter what we take in (I personally had this issue) . There are a lot of things we see ,hear or read that just isnt healthy for us but are we able to filter the information before it gains permanency in our thoughts? Maybe… maybe not . And we all know our actions become reflections of our thoughts.

Unlearning is one thing , relearning is another. While trashing the unrequired habits, thoughts and outlook on things, we’ve got to relearn something different , the total opposite of what we’re trying to discard, we feed our mind with fresh thoughts , a fresh outlook, whatever we need to actualize the kind of path we want to take. So take your time to discard the traits you’d rather not have and relearn something new and do stick to it.

Wilfred Peculiar

My Body – Not Yours

I had an experience yesterday with someone – not a friend- just someone I’d call an acquaintance. I had left the house yesterday after a while because I had some business to do. I felt real good about myself specifically yesterday, I woke up happy you can say, dabbed some powder on my face, dressed up real nice and all, it certainly was going to be a good day until I met this person..

So I had heard my name and I turned around to see this someone, we hugged, exchanged pleasantries and I thought ok , that was going to be all , I’m gonna head my way then. Then she says ‘you don become orobo oh’ (you’re now fat), my face literally lost its colour and if she knew any better she would have ended the conversation at that, but yeah I trust you know how this ends.

‘Watch it oh, na height we want, not fat, see your hand nah ‘…You’ve got to be kidding me right now…’We?, who is we’… I’m not even what you would call short. I was mute , I couldn’t even fake a smile, but.. but.. what exactly is wrong with people? I mean coming from someone who hasn’t seen me in a year if not more, what was she expecting?. She said her goodbye and I was glad to finally walk away.. It’s so funny because I’m not even , what you would call , a plus size and even if I were, it was way less her concern. It’s my body, not her’s.

It’s appalling how people feel they have every right and say over your body and how you look, it’s my body, not yours. And even if you must dish out something, please dish out valuable advice not unrequited criticism . This is the reason why people go through harsh conditions just to lose weight and have the ideal perfect figure, there’s no problem with you going under the knife, or doing what you got to do , as long as you’re not doing it for the wrong reasons. You could be a size 12 and you’d be ‘too fat’ to someone , you could also be a size 8 and be ‘too skinny’ to some other people , can we really please humans? Definitely not , so don’t bother trying.

With Love.

Wilfred Peculiar

Why Not Walk In Your Own Shoe



So growing up, my sister was used as a reference to literally everything I did or said, my mother was quick to compare me to my sister and of course she would have to be better or would have done it better, ranging from education to personality, manners, literally everything. My sister is a great person but she’s her own person and I’m mine but I guess my parents didnt understand that.

I remember on different occasions my mum would say ‘why cant you be like your sister’ that question angered me each time because just like most people I despise being compared. Eventually I subconsciously tried to be like my sister to satisfy my parents, I tried to do things I felt she would do if she was in such a situation, tried to work and do things for my parents in ways I felt she would but it was obvious I couldn’t fill someone’s shoes and it got me more upset, I remember going to bed crying doubting I was my mother’s daughter (I think every child has been here), I remember once when my mum began her ‘you dont act like your sister’ talk , I angrily said back ‘because she’s your favourite child’, lol I had no idea how wrong I was (my sister can relate).


Well, my family is made up of mathematicians, literally every one is a guru in mathematics, then came me who disliked mathematics, I hardly came home with an ‘A’ in the subject, and to my parents it felt an abnormality, I was compared to my brother, sister and even outsiders, that hurt me deeply because I never enjoyed solving numbers but I’d rather write, lucky enough my siblings understood that. People who know me well know the age difference between I and my siblings, so I was the only child at home while my siblings were at the university. I really didn’t have anyone to talk to so I resulted to writing, my room back then was filled with pieces of paper on the wall with writing such as ; positive declarations, bursts of anger and the way I felt about everything.

I had to remind myself I was good enough, and just because I wasn’t good at an aspect of life didnt make me any less inferior (thanks to my siblings)
I remember how I was shunned a lot of times because of my ‘sharp mouth’ (lol that was how it was always put). I was called rude and disrespectful, I had a short fuse, literally always got angry. My mother would say I wasn’t as lowly as my sister, I wasnt as hardworking as my sister, I wasnt good in spiritual things like my sister, I wasn’t as academically driven as my sister. Not like I was ever dull. And that was how In my secondary school I had to represent the family name, not that I had a problem doing it but I was wary of things I did or said so as not to be seen as the black sheep in my parent’s eyes, which is why when i began to have troubles with my admission into the university, i felt like a failure each time, like my path was always opposite to that of my siblings and I was letting everyone down.


Dont misunderstand me, I loved my childhood but this is a phase I’m sure most children have gone through, that feeling where you try to fill a void that was never there, where you feel you’re in a competition, where it’s like you’re the black sheep of the family because you’ve got different characteristics, but I’m ever grateful for my parents because I’m sure they thought they were doing me good, but comparison doesn’t make any child better, it weakens one’s self esteem, but I’m sure now they’ve understood because I have learnt to stand up for myself and remind them I am me , and will always be me. My siblings also are still a huge part of my life, they always push me to do my best, write more often, and never feel inferior. I am eternally grateful and proud to be called their sister. I have learnt to walk in my own shoes, I read a lot of books that helped me know my worth, and I now understand I am important, I’m a writer not a mathematician, and yes I love my sharp mouth even more.

With Love.

Strip Off Your Face Mask

Hi guys , hope we’re all staying safe and using our face masks wisely, if you haven’t, please start now. We’ll survive this pandemic together . So I’ve been thinking about some things I noticed, for example, the face masks which I’ve noticed has actually become a chore for most people, they would rather do […]

Strip Off Your Face Mask

My One Penny Wisdom Is 1

I woke up definitely happy today, not just because it’s a beautiful day but because my blog is one guys. No, not one year, I know what you’re thinking, its actually one month . Yeah I know its kind of mushy to say you’re celebrating one month but I know how satisfied I feel to have this blog. We should be at one year now , trust me, but the fear and uncertainties I had held me back but this year after having a long talk with my sister I felt – why not give this a try, and here we are guys!

I assure you, it does feel good to be doing this, finally got this ticked off my bucket list a month ago. We’re definitely going to get to where you want to be, cheers to more months, years and an amazing journey.

Thanks for the support In the last one month guys, you have all been amazing

New blog post coming up soon guys.

With Love.

Wilfred Peculiar

Strip Off Your Face Mask

Hi guys , hope we’re all staying safe and using our face masks wisely, if you haven’t, please start now. We’ll survive this pandemic together .

So I’ve been thinking about some things I noticed, for example, the face masks which I’ve noticed has actually become a chore for most people, they would rather do without it, even while there are strict consequences laid out for people who move around without face masks, they seem to play deaf. But why is that, I’ve been thinking, why is it so hard to put on this face mask when we’ve been living with a face mask all our life , yes you heard me right, we’ve all had to put on an unconscious face mask at one point in time; probably to get what we want, or just to be able to bend to what society wants of us.

In the public places; the workplace, the religious centres, even amongst our peers, most of us unconsciously put on a face mask but when we get to our comfort zone, to our private places, we strip it off and finally become who we are. You know you don’t enjoy your job but every morning you put on your face mask and go to work with a smile on your face. You know you don’t like the kind of friends you have around you, but every day you put on your face mask and go hang out with them just so you could be referred to as ‘cool’. Even those who have no good intentions toward us come to us with smiles on their faces and we believe everything is alright. Please , honey , strip off your face mask.

You really can’t be finding it so hard to put on your face mask but then find it so easy to put on this face mask of a facade , Most of you have had this face mask on for years, don’t you think its time to get rid of it? Time to be who you really are , it may seem like an unrealistic thing to do but it’s a choice , and once you make that choice , you’re going to find yourself mentally doing it, its fine to not feel among , you don’t even have to be among, it’s fine to be different , it’s okay to take risks and get out of that happiness draining spot you find yourself, you don’t have to live your life putting on a face mask. All you need is the actual face mask that is going to help you survive in this period. Remember to be your true self.

With Love.

It’s A Transition

Hi guys.. it’s me again, first off click the follow button…Soooo yesss I’m extremely elated , wonder why?…because it’s my birthday honey! yes! Today actually was my birthday. I planned to make a blog post about it before today but I got really occupied. So I’ll just sprinkle a little magic here and go to bed.

My last birthday, I can remember vividly, (days leading up to my birthday) , I was so expectant and in a really happy mood but when the day finally arrived, oh my! It seemed as though I had a sober reflection, I seemed unhappy wondering what exactly had I achieved, what were my set goals and all of life’s expectations seemed to fill my thoughts.

But funny enough guys, today was actually different, I had the same thoughts about life in general but I refused to let it affect my mood, I chose to be happy, I chose to be positive. And trust me, this is one of my best birthdays so far! . I feel my growth in every aspect and it makes me glad .

Oh well! Now its minutes to a new day and I can lay on my bed and say to myself, I spent my last years well. And there’s more, a whole lot more, more goals to be achieved.

Sorry for the short blog post guys, but I need my beauty sleep right now, hmm-hmm. New post coming up pretty soon. Be posted.

With Love.

Wilfred Peculiar

Writer’s Block

Hi guys! Welcome again. Sure you had a great weekend?

What a year. 2020. I’m pretty sure we all had huge expectations for the year and goals to achieve but it seemed this year had a mind of it’s own, can we say that?. The virus sure caught us unaware. Hope every one is staying safe though. Sadly people lost their lives to this novel virus , we wish their families strength and love.

There has been quite a lot of disadvantages accompanying the virus and the lockdown in different countries but I would say , personally , I was able to pick out one benefit , staying home week in and week out kind of gave me the opportunity to focus more on myself and I’ve been writing more than ever before! Yes that’s the best part.

I wanna speak about something that really troubled me during a phase of my life, yes you guessed right, the writer’s block. I honestly did not have an idea of what of what writer’s block was all about until I experienced it myself, I’m pretty sure most writers have experienced it too. It certainly can be frustrating .

I recall about two years ago, 2018. The most of the year I couldn’t write anything . It felt like there was a pause in transmission, oh my! I thought I had lost my potential, haha. Each time I tried to write something, I felt stuck, I was sad. People would tell me , oh you havent written in a while, I would blame it on being busy.

I began to read about it online and I realized it actually was , would I say kind of normal, amongst creative people , and I checked up how I could end it and return to writing again . I saw solutions and tips which I was willing to try, but it just wasn’t working. At a point I thought maybe – just maybe the writer’s block was a myth, and I really didnt have the talent .

Different factors could trigger a block ranging from stress, a lack of inspiration, life circumstances or just factors around us.

At a time I forgot about writing totally and was focusing on other things as I was having school trouble (which was a factor that triggered the block). I remember a certain night I laid on my bed listening to soul music and I was singing along and all and suddenly I felt the urge to write something down and I quickly got a pen and paper and began everything that came to mind, it was amazing, trust me, there was no pause, the words were flowing. It felt so good. Writing is an amazing ability I must tell you and I really dont want to ever stop.

Since then it’s been an amazing journey and as I said earlier this ‘lockdown’ gave me the opportunity to write more and express myself even more – reason for this blog.

So, tell me, have you experienced the writer’s block or any kind or pause in transmission in any creative field you are ; the writer’s block could occur for minutes, hours ,days, months and even years. Mine took months, so let me know in the comment section how long yours was and how it felt and what you did to bring back your creativity? Feel free to share!.

With Love.

Wilfred Peculiar

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