I stood at the window, my eyes searching, as though a predator preying , awaiting its victim, he usually came towards my eye’s angle at this time, why wasn’t he here yet? I had been keeping track , weeks of watching and accustoming myself to his schedule, I knew when he left his home and when he returned. I took a quick look at the mirror, my hair was in a messy bun, a plain white shirt and a pair of my go to jeans, i mean how could he not admire this?
This silly infatuation began weeks prior, when I was sitting by my window and I saw him across at their front yard, his built figure, the muscles pulsing in his arms, the sharp definition his face bore, and beside him a rather petite and pretty face, a girlfriend? A wife?.I hoped not. Till I saw the huge diamond rock sitting pretty on her finger, my interest was immediately planted. I began watching him, fuelling my silly obsession.
He finally came home, but he was late, I watched him walk towards his front door, rolled my eyes at the sight of him hugging his wife as she opened up the door, what was wrong with me??. I knew what came next, he would go into their bedroom and undress, I immediately assumed my position, I saw the lights to the bedroom come on , now he would be undressing , that I know, then as though right on cue he came towards the window directly across me, i quickly took off my shirt and pretended to be busy undressing. And then his eyes fell upon mine, the unwavering stare, I was just in my bra as only the upper part of my body was visible to him. Seconds felt like minutes as his eyes were still on mine, then suddenly his wife came right behind him, her hands enveloping his chest from behind. I immediately moved away from the window more like shamefully hoping I wasnt seen.
This wasn’t how I had envisioned this, I felt ashamed, I felt dirty, was I just trying to playing around with someone’s husband?. It seemed as though I had gotten my senses back and realized the way I had been feeling for weeks now wasn’t proper and neither was it in my character. I had tried to play with a fire that was definitely going to burn me.
I cowered my head in shame as I sat at the edge of my bed, I mouthed a prayer of forgiveness wishing that hadn’t occured. I walked back to the window shutting it. Here I was taking a risk I couldn’t handle, I flopped on the bed and curled into a ball and wished for a temporary memory loss.