Teenage Fantasy

He whispered into my ears poetic lines, reminding me how much he claimed to love me, filling my heart with affection, his hand across my waist pressing slightly, he claimed I was the one and we were going to be together forever. And he had never felt love as strong as this. I wondered if he had even felt love at all. Every evening I rushed back home before my mother would become aware of my whereabouts I found clarity and my heart knew better.

He said we would attend the same college then afterwards move to a new city together, get married and make babies, I nodded my head in agreement as my heart beat for joy believing I had found the one but every day I sat before my written goals taped to the wall beside my bed and I couldn’t find him in any. I found clarity and my heart knew better.

I skipped school to go spend time with him, the thrill of it, the adrenaline it brought, the new things I was able to try, It felt surreal, I felt on top of the world and he brought out another part of me I didnt know existed, I revelled in his energy that the world seemed to stop whenever we were together but when I sat before my overlapping school work and dilapidating grades I found clarity and my heart knew better .

But I would always go back, I would always go back to that which was bad for me, he was nicotine and i was addicted, I had painted a picture in my head , acted out a scenario and planned a future with someone whose path didnt align with mine, I was beyond infatuated but would you blame me, I was young and experimenting. I was falling for someone who didnt want the same as me. I had found clarity and my heart already knew better but I was unwilling to let go. I was unwilling to make that conscious decision. I revelled in my fantasy .

Peculiar Wilfred

With Love.